Microdosing, Battling the Inner Critic, and Other Helpful Tools for Writers
Reflections on the Writing Process: Part II
Hello friends - I write to you from the sweltering valleys of Central Mexico where I have just finished leading a psilocybin retreat for the past week.
For this retreat I was collaborating with Right to Heal, a boutique psilocybin retreat company started by my friend and fellow Inner Trek educator, Dr. Erica Zelfand.
The love, vulnerability, and hard won transformation I’ve been witnessing all week has been a powerful reminder of why I devote so much of my life and energy to psychedelic healing. To even play a small part in someone’s journey towards greater wholeness is a gift.
I’m excited to be offering more of this type of work in Oregon, and will be sharing some announcements about some psychedelic retreat offerings in the coming weeks.
This week is the second installment of a two-part series on the writing process. It’s a humble harvest of some things I’ve learned after just writing a 300 page book. My hope is that it may be of some use for you in your own creative journey.
Take what is useful. Throw away the rest. And please do let me know what your own tools, rituals, and reflections are on the writing process as well.
Research vs. Writing
Research can be just as important as the actual process of writing. I heard Frank Herbert took five years to compile all of his research for the Dune series before writing even a single word. Some people might prefer to write in a Kerouacian sprint of expression, which I am certainly all in favor of.
But Kerouac had to do his own research through the actual lived experience of being on the road before writing about it. He had to live something, immerse himself in something, before being even remotely prepared to speak about it with any sense of style or truth.
Research doesn’t need to be academic. Whether through wild adventures through foreign countries or focused time understanding the ancient history of a particular region, research becomes the raw material that is ultimately crafted into our expression.
I was blessed to go through a masters degree program that emphasized the value of academic research in not just a mental way, but spiritually as well. During my time at Pacifica Graduate Institute I learned that research is not just about accumulating previous works, evidence, and well-respected opinions, but instead can be a profoundly inward, soulful process that guides you more deeply into the imaginative unknown.
Last summer I was under a rapidly approaching deadline for my book. Unimagined chapters and blank pages stared me in the face, and I needed a massive dose of inspiration and guidance, stat. I found myself wandering down the shelved hallways of Powell’s Books, my home bookstore in Portland and the largest independent bookstore in the country, winding my way through sections on mythology, religion, and psychology.
On one particular day I spent hours tracking this wild inspiration as I poured through obscure texts to find deeper insights into the myth of Medusa, which features prominently in my book. I walked out of that bookstore elated, feeling like I had just successfully unearthed ancient treasures in the caverns of knowledge. I also left with a few new books under my arm - a necessary vice of any researching author.
I use a note taking app like Evernote to track the source text and exact quotations that I want to reference for particular chapters or ideas, making note of the exact quote, page number, and author that I am referencing. This is a particularly academic style of research, but it’s what works for me.
Rhythms & Tools
Figuring out your creative and energetic rhythms are essential to harnessing the flow state that I believe all artists and creatives long to inhabit.
I work well in the morning, and eat a late breakfast/lunch around 12/1pm. If I’m on a roll, I can continue for a few more hours, usually clocking in 4-6 hours on a good day. By 4:30pm, I am reliably toast. A simple morning routine is conducive for writing because all my mental energy can be focused on the work at hand.
The longer I can write in a state of uninterrupted flow, the better. Put your phone on airplane mode, and as Steven King said put your desk in the corner, not at the window. The next day I will read what I wrote, tweak a few things, and start again.
A few tools and allies I’ve found helpful:
Microdosing: A miniscule of LSD is one of the best writing tools I’ve ever encountered. I discovered this while writing my master’s thesis, which felt like a trial run of writing a book. An LSD microdose is considered to be around 7-12 micrograms (one tenth of a “hit”). I don’t do it every day by any means. But once I have done my research, set my routine, and am clear on what I need to work on, a microdose can do wonders. I prefer it to coffee. Yet like always when psychedelics are involved, nothing is guaranteed. Approach with caution.
Tobacco: This maligned plant has been shown in various scientific studies to be a mild neurotropic and cognitive enhancer (here is one example). Sometimes when I’ve found myself stuck or creatively blocked, I’ll roll a small bit of tobacco and go outside with the intention of asking the plant to guide me and show me where to go next. The results have shocked me. I’m not talking about smoking cigarettes, but rather hand-rolled tobacco that I relate to with clear intention and prayer. The results have been astounding.
Repetitive/atmospheric music: I heard Tim Ferriss once mention that he wrote an entire book to one album on repeat. I’m not that extreme, but I do like finding a few songs that fit the vibe of my work and cycling through them again and again. It eventually becomes like white noise, and can be a beautiful way to clear your mind and sink into an ambient environment that I feel enhances the tone I am trying to conjure.
One favorite song while writing my book was this:
Walk the Question: Not an original idea. Taking a creative problem out on the land, whether it be on city streets or forest floors, is a creative tool as old as time. There’s nothing magical here, other than letting the natural world take up more of your psychic real estate. Getting the blood flowing also does wonders.
Structure is your Friend - Outlines
As a double Capricorn (rising and moon), I like my structure. I’ve worked with some brilliant writers and creative folks as my clients and so often the achilles heel of highly creative people is that we are simply not organized (I will place myself in this camp, judging by the apocalyptic state of my email inbox).
And yet, the outline was my best friend while writing my book.
One of the most helpful things I did when putting together my book proposal was what’s called an annotated table of contents–essentially a highly detailed outline with chapter descriptions, subheadings, and clear ideas about what I’m going to talk about. Of course, this is all conjecture, and a lot will change when you actually write it. But for me, I could not have done this without having clearly thought through where I am going, or at least the general themes I want to cover.
That said, outlines are meant to work for you, and not the other way around. I went through two others potential outlines, all of which were more complicated then they needed to be, before settling on the structure I wanted for my book.
Simplicity, it turns out, is also my best friend.
Claiming Voice
When I finally worked up the courage to ask the renowned mythologist and storyteller Martin Shaw what his advice was for a first time author, he told me that my voice as a new author was still forming, and that I might not express things exactly like I want to the first time around.
Martin’s advice helped me in a couple of ways. First, it helped me understand that yes, writing is indeed a process, and that my ideal form of it will not be achieved on the first try, if ever. Second, it helped me feel some self-compassion around my voice and style as a writer. Third, coming from a man whose work I’ve deeply admired for many years, it felt like a blessing to fuck it up, and to keep on going anyway.
Claiming voice is a tender process because we don’t know how someone else is going to hear our words in their head, and to be ok with that. Claiming voice means that we might write ten pages about something we think is great, and then come to realize that it wasn't actually a clear articulation of our true voice, and that its rightful place is actually the trash can. Claiming voice means that we say what we have to say clearly and confidently, come what may.
Which leads me to my next point…
The Cancel Critic
Oh to even try to express a simple thought in this day and age without expecting some vitriolic pushback or virtually mediated public shaming. It is not an easy time to share things publicly, not matter what our identity or political slant. Full stop.
There is a voice that lives in my head rent free that has spent way too much time on picket lines, is vegan, and probably went to Evergreen College. It really doesn't like me, even though it doesn't know me. It will try and take any angle to pick apart my ideas, call out my privilege, and shut me down. Steven Pressfield might call this resistance, but I call it my inner Cancel Critic.
This is a hard thing to share, but I’m doing it because it is a deep part of my creative process that I am guessing many people can relate to. Your inner critic might take a completely different form and take other approaches to limit your creative expression.
The point is that this voice would rather us just shut our laptops, walk away, and never share an original thought again.
The world is not served by this. You are not served by this. And yes, by sharing anything publicly, especially in today’s extremely inflamed political climate, you will probably hurt some people’s feelings or “get it wrong” or be told to “do better.” Even in writing these words, I am certain I am ruffling some feathers.
That’s ok, because if there is one thing that creativity is not about, it's being perfect.
My book, Psychedelics and the Soul: A Mythic Guide to Psychedelic Healing, Depth Psychology, and Cultural Repair is now available for pre-order! You can get it through this link, or wherever books are sold. Please consider ordering from my beloved Powell’s Books, and support independent book stores.
As always, please consider subscribing to my Substack, leaving a comment, and sharing with a friend.
Great stuff, my friend. Thank you as always. And now Ancestors Call is tunefully decorating time in my house today.
I love the sincerity in your writing voice. It shines through and touches my heart. Thank you 🙏🏻💗